Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Randomize
