i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
