i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
