I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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