Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
