she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
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Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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