I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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