I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize