my mouth tastes like poor choices
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just found a bag of teeth...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
