thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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