why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just blew my weed a kiss
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
