Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
