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• (949): View more from California

  youre so sexy i want your bod

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude, did you turn gay?

  (949): View more from California

  heather?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  this is jacob

  Fav 14 1623 2477

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  FUCK YOU.

  Fav 69 4507 3092

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

  Fav 10 1449 3959

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

  Fav 1 1677 699

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• (760): View more from California

  drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.

  Fav 5 388 708

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?

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