I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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