I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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