Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
