She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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