guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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