hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
