I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
