we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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