yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
