i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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