What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
