Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
