ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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