you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
