ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
