I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize