dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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