I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
