people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
