so explain again why im purple
no
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
