the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
where does the pee come out of this thing
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
