She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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