Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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