whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
