I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
