my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
