How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do herpes really smell.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
