He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize
