Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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