do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
