Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
