smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
