I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
