I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
