apparently the secret to your success is patron
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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