I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Still dying that you shit outside
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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