Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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