Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've blown a few things in my day
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
