Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize