The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
