I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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