You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I didn't notice because vodka
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
