Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize