My Higher Power is John Stamos
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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