why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
